There were many moments (and a few now) in my life where I engaged in behavior and entertained thoughts that gave me the opposite of the very thing I wanted most. I consider this activity to be watering weeds but expecting flowers. What behavior or ways of thinking could you be engaged in at this very moment that will yield weeds in your life? Let me give you some examples from my own experiences that might help you get started.
- Assuming responsibility for some else’s issues that they didn’t care to resolve.
- Wanting to be like someone else, instead of becoming the best version of myself
- Wanting everything to be perfect
It’s said that the most painful wounds are self-inflicted. When I think about the weeds listed above a lot of painful memories come to surface. I ask myself questions like, why did I care so much about making things right, when the responsible party could have cared less. Why did it take so long for me to truly like who I could become, versus spending time trying to be like someone else? What a waste of energy, time, and money etc. I also discovered that wanting everything to be perfect is an illusion. Learning to accept my perfect imperfections has been a huge awakening for me. I can’t tell you that I have gotten rid of all the weeds in my life, but what I can tell you is I’ve learned to be a better “gardener” of my life.
Albert Einstein said, “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.” So, you may want to start with getting curious about yourself. Think about the issues that trouble you most. How many of these issues are truly yours to resolve? What exactly is the role you’re playing in the situation and what should be your impact on the desired outcome? How about what’s the worst thing that could have happen if the outcome is not perfect? How do I reason with the unreasonable? Will this actually help me to become the best version of myself?
Playing around with questions you can’t easily answer can open your mind to insights that may help you determine whether you’re watering weeds but expecting flowers. Happy gardening ☺